I know you’ve heard those words of wisdom, at least in reference to crossing streets. I’d like to put a new spin on it for you and encourage you to look both ways before crossing your partner.
Remember first that you are with them for a reason, hopefully many reasons. One of the reasons is because they get you. Most of choose someone who understands us, and knows us like no one else. Sometimes they can see us when we can’t even see ourselves.
I’m the first to admit that I am stubborn and I usually start off every argument sure that I’m right and it is just a matter of proving it. In my head it sounds like this… “Once I state my case I can go on my merry way of doing things the way I do them. They’ll see that I was right all along.”
I have often fallen into the trap of preparing my evidence rather than listening to the other side and the perspectives of those who matter to me. Listening can be difficult when I’m on a mission to prove myself right. And I find the hardest thing to do is to stop talking and hear how I am being perceived by those I love. But eventually I do it and I call that looking both ways, my way and their way.
I know their way matters. I respect their way of seeing things, it is one of the reasons I chose them to be in my life. They are smart, observant and they shoot straight with me. Yes it hurts. The truth always does.
It’s not in my best interest to cross them and walk around being right all the time. It’s not in yours either. Look at the loves in your life. How and why did you let them in? Is it safe to be you? When they call you out on something is it out of love and their hope for you to be accountable and be your best? For you to grow and be more of who they learned to love in the beginning? If so… look both ways before crossing your partner.