I was fortunate enough to stumble across the great work of Gary Chapman and his book, The Five Love Languages, a couple of years ago. It had been awhile since I’d read anything that made such perfect sense. For those of you who don’t know his work, let me briefly explain each of the five languages.
Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, you love to get compliments, and need to hear “I love you”. If people can articulate how they feel about you – you are in heaven. On the flip side – insults can leave you broken and it may take a while to get over them. In a nutshell, words are powerful.
Quality Time: Having someone’s full undivided attention tells you that you are loved. You thrive when they focus on you without distraction. The activity you do together is irrelevant. It’s about being together. Distractions and failure to listen can be especially hurtful if quality time is your love language.
Receiving Gifts: You are not materialistic if this is your love language. You thrive on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gifts you receive. This is how you know you are loved. Missed birthdays, anniversaries or thoughtless gifts can be very upsetting.
Acts of Service: They can vacuum the floor, change the oil or ease your burden in a number of ways to show you that you’re loved. The magical words you want to hear? “Let me do that for you.” Laziness and broken commitments tell you that your feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch: Your kind of love comes from hugs, holding hands, and all kinds of thoughtful touches. Another’s physical presence and accessibility is crucial while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and highly destructive.
People tend to show love in the way they like to receive it (their own love language). Take a few minutes to take the quiz with your partner. Find out each of your love languages and make an effort to speak your partner’s love language from here on out and watch the magic happen.
Take the Love Language Quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/